Last Updated on September 8, 2017 by NandiNN
This post was not planned. It’s not even on my content calendar plan because I assumed we were in 2017 and bullying and gossiping was the thing of the past. Yesterday however, I was late night pinning, going through my smart feed and noticed a post that didn’t sit too well with me. And I haven’t stopped thinking about it since. What do you do when a blogger bashes another blogger?
This is not a typical blog post that you will find on my website. I am not here to sell you anything or share my usual juicy blog post. I am here to spread the news! Stop bullying.. Simple! And if you agree with my post, I want you to share it on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, text someone!! Just spread the news as this really has to stop!
Where are these bullying episodes taking place?
First, let me say, I have seen people bring each other down on social media (Facebook and Twitter specifically) and I usually just move on! A recent example of this was when a few other bloggers took to Facebook groups and disrespected Melyssa Griffin for taking down her huge Facebook group! I get that you were upset or disappointed and wanted to express your opinions. Great, you are allowed to do so. But some comments were simply just hurtful. Some professional bloggers went as far as making threats and just saying nasty things about Melyssa’s business agenda! False accusations were put up.
Do you know that bashing another person or business can have a bad implication on them or their business? What if I was a newbie that happened to come across those posts on that very day? I wouldn’t trust Melyssa or any of her work based on what was posted! Everything worked out at the end, no one died because her group was shut down and we all moved on. But this is not about that.
When a blogger bashes another blogger on her blog!
Back to the post I stumbled upon on Pinterest. Well this blogger decided to write a whole blog post about how she felt deceived by this other blogger. The only reason I clicked over to her post was because I thought (even though her Pinterest graphic image was clear on the intent) she was going to put a fun spin to it. NO! I was so wrong.
This blogger started off by saying she wasn’t going to name the blogger or the product. Just by reading the first 2 paragraphs, I knew exactly who she was referring to! (No I won’t link the post on here!- I do not want to promote it in any way).Not only did she review the product, she went on to say how horrible it was, and for the amount she paid, she wanted more. She pretty much begged everyone to stay away from this product and she felt cheated.
I was so shocked. I couldn’t believe what I was reading especially from another blogger. I kept thinking to myself, how would she feel if another person wrote horrible things about her or her products? On the internet!!!
THE DIFFERENT BETWEEN A REVIEW, GIVING YOUR HONEST OPINION AND JUST PLAIN BULLYING
Hear me out, I am not saying that you should not give your honest review and opinion about a product or a service. But they are ways of saying it without hurting someone personally or trashing their hard work. What might not have worked for you, works miracles for the next person. Saying horrible things INTENTIONALLY to bully someone is not right!
Review a product by saying exactly why it didn’t work for you (eg. I am not an advanced blogger and a lot of the points where not applicable to me, or I felt for the money, I would rather have spent it on this because ABC -and move the conversation away). If you are reviewing a product, you could say this product didn’t work for you because the colours where wrong, or it took a while to be delivered but other than that I would have preferred more of this…
In other words, give a positive twist but still explaining why it did not work for YOU! Again, just because it didn’t work out for you doesn’t mean it won’t work for the next person. But this blogger left no room for that. She pretty much wanted us to run away from this product and the blogger by attacking them.
WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN THIS HAPPENS
Typically I just leave things alone and move one. But because it”s happening over and over, I felt like I needed to express my feelings. If you do not like something or a product:
-Try to resolve it with the company
-Get clarification
– Ask for your money back
– Review it honestly but not in a bullying kind of way (Be the bigger person)
– Do your research before purchasing
This blogger did say she did a bit of research and relied on the reviews before purchasing. Before I invest in a product, I ask around to non biased people what they really thought. If I get a half great answer and half bad, I contact the person who created the product.
For example- At one point I wanted to purchase Eden Fried’s course on Pinterest, I emailed her and asked her if it would be helpful for me. She honestly told me, I was too advanced for it! Awesome, I kept looking.
Again, I wanted to purchase Michelle’s course on Making Sense of Affiliate marketing, I asked other bloggers why they recommend I make the jump, how long it took them to get results and I was met with great, positive answers that made the purchase choice more easy and comfortable for me.
And they were other products that I bought and I already knew 70% of the recommendations but the other 30% was all new to me and they made a huge difference to my online business and so I still give it a 10 out of 10.
And they were not so good courses and products that I asked for my money back because I was too advanced. I didn’t bash or bully them. I simply acknowledged that it was not a fit for me, but some one that just started blogging yesterday would really need it.
BLOGGERS STOP BASHING OTHER BLOGGERS!
You do not need to be mean, or disrespectful. If some one has a little error on her blog (send them a quick heads up about it), not feeling her vibe? Look away. Don’t like her emails, unsubscribe. Want to give helpful criticism? Go for it! Hate their products or price points, don’t buy it!
WHEN IT’S YOUR TURN!
When it’s your turn to promote your new product, send out that email, grow your email list, DON’T YOU WANT THE SUPPORT? You would want your other friendly bloggers to promote it for you, help you with it, give you an honest feed back (privately or openly) and help each other grow as a community. You will only grow as much as you give out. Don’t be the person that is negative and bashful.
Guess who I am running away from?
-The person that is negative
-The person that has time to bully people openly in public
-The person that is not humble
I will not promote you, I will not support you, I will not add you to my networks or purchase that awesome product that you have because your overall attitude left a bad taste in my mouth.
FOR ALL THE AWESOME SUPPORTERS THAT SUPPORT ME OR HELP OTHER PEOPLE, I THANK YOU!!
PLEASE STOP ONLINE BULLYING, BASHING AND DEFAMATION!
PS. I did let the other blogger know about this post. She took it as a trooper- You can’t please everyone.
And Vice Versa to other bloggers
If someone purchases a product from you or uses your services and they have questions or do not understand something, be helpful. Don’t just push a product or an email pitch and when the deal is done you disappear. Ever heard of repeat clients? No one will be back if you are not helpful!
If you agree, please hit that share button and let our community grow with positive people. DONE!
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Wow! Do other bloggers do this kind of bullying? Now, I am scared! I am glad you wrote this post as it does create an awareness and you have some great points on how to criticize constructively and not in a demeaning manner. I feel bad for those bloggers but am sure they were stronger than to listen to those morons who had nothing better or anything good going on in their life.
I have never even thought of putting down someone else’s hard work. I believe in giving honest feedback but I always keep in mind the effort and thought that went behind creating products.
Well! I just know that Karma is a real thing and if there are bullies around, they will get what is coming to them. We should ignore the negativity and put our best foot forward and improve our work every blessed day!
To be honest, I hadn’t really seen negative blog posts before, and I have been blogging for 7 years, but I pretty much only follow food bloggers so maybe it is less of an issue among foodies. It is disheartening to see that it goes on.
Thank you for this post. I am new to the blogging world and I have truly loved the support from other bloggers. I am hoping that many read this and are reminded that being helpful is much better than tearing a person down. If you have a problem with a person or their product, go to the source, not social media. I would be devastated if someone did this to me and didn’t have the respect to come to me first. It’s defamation of character based on someone’s opinion.
Thank you for your amazing comments.
Jealousy could play a big factor in this behave. I think giving a bit more love will benefit everyone at the end.
One of my favorite parts about blogging is the community. It really does not work unless we support one another. But as a bonus, you really do create bonds and friendships! I have had so many veteran bloggers give me advice and encouragement…with great constructive criticism. I am forever grateful. It is so unfortunate when you see the other side, when bloggers are not as nice as they could be. I am guessing it stems from jealousy, but if you do not have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all! Fantastic post (as always) and I will spread the word!
It makes me really sad to see that people do that to others! I think there’s space for everyone and like you said, we should be helping each other grow and give honest and respectful feedbacks! Not hurtful hating messages! Great post, great atitude. Thanks for standing up for us bloggers! 🙂
I agree 100% for this and praise you to the rooftops for taking a stand. I have shared it with my group and have scheduled it to pin. You are absolutely right – you don’t have to like something, but you do need to speak out with grace.
I also had two popups come up on mobile. I normally don’t have the patience for them, but this post is so valuable (as I know all your content to be!) so I went past it. I’m not sure everyone would, though, and it would be a shame that fewer people read this because of that.
I agree some people need to grow up. Seriously what are they doing with their lives? If you dont like what I’m posting be an adult and scroll past.
Yes, yes, yes! It is a sad thing when we see bloggers bashing anyone, which happens more than I like to read. What ever happened to the days of, “If you do not have anything nice to say…?”
I do product reviews, and my general rule has been that if I have a less than positive experience, I communicate my concerns to the seller. What if there is an easy answer or resolution?
When people are unkind behind a computer screen, I wonder if they would be so bold if they were face to face with the person to whom they were being unkind.
Thank you for publishing this post! I blog in the fashion/beauty realm and while the bashing of other blogger’s products is different – this trend of bullying other bloggers and creating posts purely with the intent to shade them and try and hurt their brand or business (even though they never took the time to actually speak to the blogger about these issues) has got to stop!!
One thing I usually comment and definitely always repeat to myself is: tearing someone down will truly do nothing to build you up. It’s a fruitless, cruel effort that’s mean spirited and does absolutely nothing positive to help these bloggers out. Sure, there are times when someone might rub us the wrong way…but choosing to invest your time, energy and platform into fueling that problem rather than working towards your personal goals and growth is a mistake. A big one.
Anywhooo — I’m rambling. Thank you for calling this out. It needs to be said and I’m sharing this post right now!
Kelly
http://www.dreaminlace.com
Exactly!!!
I absolutely love this post! Hit every point. I’ve actually taken a few courses where they were either completely wrong for me or didn’t provide the value that I had perceived it would. But I didn’t go on a huge rant about them and never would, if asked I would give my personal, experience. Can’t we all be good people?
Thank you so much Kimberly!
I have also noticed an uptick in unpleasantness in the blogosphere lately, and you make some great points here. We can’t be so competitive that we’re willing to rip each other apart. Everybody’s journey is different, but there are a number of bloggers out here attempting to do good things and to help others along the way. Bullying, gossiping and backbiting have never served good. Thanks for your post. I am sharing it.
Yes Eden!!! It’s awful what they did! And it’s not okay. I am seeing this more and more!! Sigh!
Very important post. Thank you for writing this. There is a difference between a constructive negative review and a bashful review. I know what post you are talking about and I’m not a fan of how this blogger executed the review at all. It’s also important to note that bloggers can be sued for slander online if the person being criticized can prove that it hurt their business. This is why it’s important to be tactful. Again, constructive reviews that highlight what you liked and didn’t like is the best. You should be reviewing the product, not bashing the person.
Also love that you suggest reaching out to the product creator. As you know from experience, I only want people to purchase my course and products if it really is going to help them. If I think you’re not the right fit, I won’t hesitate to tell you so. That being said, your advice is spot on. Reach out to the course owner if you’re not certain you’ll love the product. They should be able to tell you whether or not it’s going to be right for you!
Excellent advice as always!
Eden
Tell me about it! It’s ignorant of them to assume!
Online bullying should not be done at all. I even get stunned when I see small-time bloggers bashes other bloggers and pass comments without having any research, experience or even a thought. I mean it’s okay to criticize and even make an honest feedback but it shouldn’t be done in a way that defames the other person.
Arfa
Thank you so much!!! I a glad you agree bashing is out of the question. I will look at that sumo thing.
It complete shocks me! I want to spread this blog all over to bring awareness!
I love this article. Very smart idea to reach out to the course creator to find out if the course is right for you. I am going to do this going forward. I did purchase a few courses that did not work for me. I would not promote them at all anywhere, or if my blogging friends ask my opinion for those courses, I will speak the truth. However I would never bashing them publicly.Because I agree with you that someone in a different niche might find the course useful for them.
I love your blog! Just one small suggestion, I found it very difficult to leave comment on my mobile, because there is a gaint ‘Up Next’ powered by Sumo blocking me to see what I am typing in the comment area… You might want to make it smaller or give the option to close that pop up down. But I really liked the article so I found it again on my desktop to leave a comment 🙂
oh my goodness!! As someone who was bullied a lot.. this kind of behaviour from people who are supposed to be adults shocks me to my core. I noticed that in a webinar that I was watching recently, someone just said “Is this even a webinar? all I’m getting is a sales pitch” so I had to intervene. I said “To be fair, most webinars are 20 minutes of solid gold content and at the end you get a sales pitch and bonuses. I actually learned A LOT from this webinar and I’m eternally grateful for the insight I’ve received. If you didn’t like it or didn’t get anything out of it, I can only presume that you weren’t the target audience for this webinar. It’s like attending a party when you wanted to go to the library. Remember to be respectful. The content was awesome, the chat was engaging and I had a great time”. Now I’m grown up, I’m able to stand up for people :p